1 00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:04,888 Hi. 2 00:00:04,915 --> 00:00:06,882 Hi. I just have to say 3 00:00:06,917 --> 00:00:08,716 I am on board 4 00:00:08,752 --> 00:00:10,051 with this whole adult colouring thing. 5 00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,253 You know when I first heard about it 6 00:00:11,288 --> 00:00:12,320 I dismissed it 7 00:00:12,355 --> 00:00:13,454 'cause I thought it sounded too hipsterish. 8 00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:15,123 But this class has been a revelation. 9 00:00:15,159 --> 00:00:16,258 You know I just feel fired up 10 00:00:16,293 --> 00:00:17,759 and at peace at the same time. 11 00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:19,427 I-I forgot how much I love colouring. 12 00:00:20,613 --> 00:00:21,812 Yeah you're, um, 13 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,448 gonna have to leave or we're calling the police. 14 00:00:24,849 --> 00:00:25,865 Do you have any glitter? 15 00:00:26,645 --> 00:00:28,254 - No. - Oh. Good. 16 00:00:28,293 --> 00:00:29,486 Kids avert your eyes. 17 00:00:29,521 --> 00:00:30,614 Go back to your books. Thanks. 18 00:00:32,739 --> 00:00:34,722 Ms. Lindsay, call the police please. 19 00:00:35,551 --> 00:00:36,926 I'm just so much better at this now. 20 00:00:36,961 --> 00:00:38,145 You're not. 21 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,996 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 22 00:01:15,966 --> 00:01:17,298 Ground Control to Janet Cooper. 23 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:18,299 Do you read me? 24 00:01:18,334 --> 00:01:19,300 Copy that, 25 00:01:19,335 --> 00:01:21,169 reading you loud and clear Ground Control. 26 00:01:21,204 --> 00:01:22,804 Following the footsteps of 27 00:01:22,839 --> 00:01:24,673 Joe Kittinger and Felix Baumgartner 28 00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:26,207 you Janet Cooper 29 00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:27,475 are about to make history. 30 00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:29,044 It's herstory. 31 00:01:29,079 --> 00:01:30,811 - Herstory. - Making herstory. 32 00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:32,180 Beating out women across the planet 33 00:01:32,215 --> 00:01:35,249 for the opportunity to free fall 120,000 feet 34 00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:37,251 with nothing but a spacesuit to protect you. 35 00:01:37,287 --> 00:01:40,120 Really uh glad I won that Redbull contest. 36 00:01:42,024 --> 00:01:44,024 We have to start now or she'll die. 37 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,025 Oh, okay. 38 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,994 Ah commencing countdown Cooper. 39 00:01:47,029 --> 00:01:48,395 Time to bring Janet 40 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,697 back to her planet. 41 00:01:49,732 --> 00:01:51,065 10,9, 8... 42 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,733 Uh, sorry ah, 43 00:01:52,768 --> 00:01:54,534 sorry a quick question, 44 00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:56,704 what hypothetically would happen if I, you know, 45 00:01:56,739 --> 00:01:59,550 just hypothetically decided not to jump? 46 00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:01,955 You'll float off into oblivion 47 00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:03,980 and be crushed by the vacuum of outer space Janet. 48 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:06,479 Vacuum of space. 49 00:02:06,515 --> 00:02:07,814 What's more important 50 00:02:07,849 --> 00:02:09,349 is that little girls around the world 51 00:02:09,384 --> 00:02:10,854 are counting on you Janet. 52 00:02:11,446 --> 00:02:12,466 Yay! 53 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:14,455 _ 54 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,899 Don't those little girls 55 00:02:16,935 --> 00:02:18,134 already have Beyonc�? 56 00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:22,989 Ah it's one uh giant leap for womankind. 57 00:02:23,025 --> 00:02:24,925 Cool, I get it 58 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,143 but I'm kind of wondering, 59 00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:27,276 do I, 60 00:02:27,663 --> 00:02:29,262 do I need, you know, 61 00:02:29,298 --> 00:02:31,598 to be the first woman to free fall from space? 62 00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:34,167 Like do I need that? 63 00:02:34,203 --> 00:02:35,402 Absolutely. 64 00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:38,004 You can be a hero to all women. 65 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,640 10,9,8,7... 66 00:02:40,675 --> 00:02:43,810 Okay, okay, like listen. 67 00:02:43,846 --> 00:02:45,745 I understand women getting the right to vote, 68 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,747 you know, the right to, 69 00:02:47,782 --> 00:02:49,316 you know, be recognized as people 70 00:02:49,351 --> 00:02:50,383 under the law. 71 00:02:50,418 --> 00:02:52,585 Can you believe we were not recognized as people? 72 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,720 That is wild. 73 00:02:53,755 --> 00:02:54,721 Every minute you don't jump, 74 00:02:54,756 --> 00:02:56,589 you rise another 20,000 feet Janet. 75 00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,190 20,000 eh? 76 00:02:58,226 --> 00:03:00,125 10,9,8,7,6,5... 77 00:03:00,161 --> 00:03:01,828 Okay wait uh guys. 78 00:03:01,863 --> 00:03:03,295 Janet you have to jump 79 00:03:03,331 --> 00:03:05,538 or you'll leave earth's gravitational pull. 80 00:03:06,346 --> 00:03:07,500 Okay, ah... 81 00:03:13,358 --> 00:03:15,239 Oh it's high, um. 82 00:03:15,576 --> 00:03:16,842 Yeah. 83 00:03:16,878 --> 00:03:18,404 Nope. No I uh, 84 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:19,578 I'm good. 85 00:03:19,613 --> 00:03:20,746 Yeah I'm good. 86 00:03:20,781 --> 00:03:21,847 Just I'm not really feeling it right now. 87 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,249 Janet this is your moment, 88 00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:25,484 when you land you're going to get sponsorship deals. 89 00:03:25,519 --> 00:03:28,387 You can own your own line of women's sports equipment. 90 00:03:28,422 --> 00:03:29,988 You're going to show people all over the world 91 00:03:30,023 --> 00:03:32,156 what it means to be a feminist Janet. 92 00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:33,105 Wow. 93 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,426 Fun. 94 00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:36,695 You know, as awesome as that sounds. 95 00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,401 I uh think I'm going to pass. 96 00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:40,532 - Sorry? - What? 97 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,767 Just I think I'm going to just keep floating. 98 00:03:42,802 --> 00:03:45,101 It's really not an option uh Janet, passing. 99 00:03:45,126 --> 00:03:46,905 Janet you signed a contract 100 00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:48,773 don't make me send a lawyer up there. 101 00:03:48,808 --> 00:03:50,775 A female lawyer and then we don't need you anymore. 102 00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:53,111 So, you want to lose out completely or what? 103 00:03:53,146 --> 00:03:54,312 Yeah it's not really losing out 104 00:03:54,347 --> 00:03:55,313 jumping to my death. 105 00:03:55,348 --> 00:03:56,580 Jump! 106 00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:58,049 I-I just entered the contest on a whim, 107 00:03:58,084 --> 00:03:59,750 it wasn't really my-my bag. 108 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,208 _ 109 00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,689 Did you win the first woman to free fall 110 00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:07,257 from outer space contest? 111 00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:08,094 Yep. 112 00:04:08,294 --> 00:04:09,259 Me too. 113 00:04:09,295 --> 00:04:10,260 Me too. 114 00:04:10,296 --> 00:04:12,162 That jump is bullshit. 115 00:04:12,197 --> 00:04:14,532 Do you know that 99% of the world's wealth 116 00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:15,698 is in the hands of men? 117 00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:16,699 Da. 118 00:04:16,735 --> 00:04:18,735 Do you guys want to know what this hose is for? 119 00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:20,804 So I tried making it with avocado 120 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,372 instead of, you know, the traditional way 121 00:04:22,408 --> 00:04:23,907 but I'm not entirely sold 122 00:04:23,943 --> 00:04:26,109 that it's the best chocolate cake ever. 123 00:04:26,145 --> 00:04:27,377 Sometimes you just need gluten, 124 00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:28,378 that's all you need. 125 00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:29,413 Speaking of which, 126 00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:30,414 would you like some chocolate? 127 00:04:30,449 --> 00:04:31,906 Oh yes please. 128 00:04:34,152 --> 00:04:35,251 Oh what's this? 129 00:04:35,286 --> 00:04:36,252 Oh it's a Tinder surprise. 130 00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:37,386 A Tinder surprise? 131 00:04:37,422 --> 00:04:38,955 Yeah, it's a delicious chocolate egg 132 00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:40,056 with a dick pic inside. 133 00:04:40,091 --> 00:04:41,290 - Ooh. - Mhm. 134 00:04:43,628 --> 00:04:46,563 It sure is, look at that. 135 00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:48,998 Oh the crooked ones are so cute. 136 00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,666 Oh adorable. 137 00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:51,834 - Aw. - Mhm. 138 00:04:51,869 --> 00:04:53,535 I think my guy can take your guy. 139 00:04:53,571 --> 00:04:54,536 Oh yeah for sure. 140 00:04:54,572 --> 00:04:55,537 Yeah. 141 00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:56,538 Argh, arrr. 142 00:04:56,574 --> 00:04:58,407 Ooh I'm inadequate, ahh. 143 00:04:58,443 --> 00:04:59,641 Finish him, arrr. 144 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:02,244 I'm sure he's a very nice person 145 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,245 with a great personality. 146 00:05:03,281 --> 00:05:04,480 - I'm sure. - I'm sure. 147 00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:06,816 Thanksgiving was just the worst. 148 00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:07,950 First of all the turkey was dry. 149 00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:08,951 Second of all 150 00:05:08,986 --> 00:05:09,952 no one ever talks about 151 00:05:09,987 --> 00:05:11,286 what a problematic time of year this is 152 00:05:11,321 --> 00:05:12,287 for people like myself 153 00:05:12,322 --> 00:05:13,555 who do not enjoy the root vegetables. 154 00:05:13,591 --> 00:05:14,623 I mean. 155 00:05:14,658 --> 00:05:15,891 Well never mind the vegetables, 156 00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:17,325 the whole holiday is outmoded. 157 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:20,428 I mean, what are we even celebrating? 158 00:05:20,739 --> 00:05:21,862 Capitalism? 159 00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:23,531 Colonial oppression? 160 00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:25,967 Sparkling water infused with grapefruit? 161 00:05:26,003 --> 00:05:26,968 Oh that sounds nice, thank you. 162 00:05:27,004 --> 00:05:27,969 Oh no thank you. 163 00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:29,471 I'm boycotting the parent company, 164 00:05:29,506 --> 00:05:31,306 they're draining the lakes for pennies a glass. 165 00:05:31,341 --> 00:05:32,540 It's disgusting. 166 00:05:34,191 --> 00:05:35,809 You know what, I'm going to pass. 167 00:05:35,845 --> 00:05:36,805 Okay. 168 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:38,980 Thank you for being so vocal. 169 00:05:39,015 --> 00:05:40,632 I really appreciate that you are. 170 00:05:40,897 --> 00:05:43,718 I mean, I really need to learn to do that more. 171 00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:44,785 No. 172 00:05:44,821 --> 00:05:46,687 You need to unlearn 173 00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:48,389 the long term systemic silencing 174 00:05:48,424 --> 00:05:49,390 of female voices. 175 00:05:49,425 --> 00:05:50,391 Mhm. 176 00:05:50,426 --> 00:05:51,392 It's true you do. 177 00:05:51,427 --> 00:05:52,393 I've thought that for a while now. 178 00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:53,394 - Really? - Yeah. 179 00:05:53,429 --> 00:05:54,828 Am I not loud enough? Is that... 180 00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:56,530 Hi, uh can you excuse me 181 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,531 I need to use the... 182 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:58,798 Like I said on Facebook 183 00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,767 the systems aren't broken, 184 00:06:00,802 --> 00:06:03,504 they were built that way. 185 00:06:03,539 --> 00:06:04,505 Oh, son of a bitch. 186 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:05,772 It's the inherent entitlement 187 00:06:05,807 --> 00:06:07,607 that really gets me. 188 00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:08,775 My... my... 189 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:10,610 but my wheel's stuck. 190 00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:12,178 If everyone would just check out their privilege 191 00:06:12,213 --> 00:06:13,747 the world would be a better place. 192 00:06:13,782 --> 00:06:14,948 What does it mean when people say check your privilege? 193 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,349 I don't really understand that. 194 00:06:16,384 --> 00:06:17,951 Well the problem about checking privilege is 195 00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,185 that if you're so used to privilege 196 00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:20,554 you don't even know that you have it. 197 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:21,988 I just want you to move please. 198 00:06:22,024 --> 00:06:24,524 If only we had a facile yet problematic way 199 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,792 - to demonstrate this. - And my wheel is stuck! 200 00:06:25,827 --> 00:06:27,160 Agh! 201 00:06:27,195 --> 00:06:28,394 I just want to pee! 202 00:06:29,531 --> 00:06:31,030 Can I have um a bourbon please? 203 00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:32,633 Straight up, thank you. 204 00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:34,267 Just put it on my card. Thank you. 205 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,969 Dammit. 206 00:06:37,872 --> 00:06:38,837 Sorry, were you talking to me? 207 00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:40,440 Oh no, I'm sorry, not at all, um... 208 00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:41,774 Okay. 209 00:06:41,809 --> 00:06:43,909 There's this sleazy guy back there. 210 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:44,910 Can you see him? 211 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,911 Do you see him? 212 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,280 He is staring at me all night. 213 00:06:48,315 --> 00:06:49,347 He's-he's going to come over. 214 00:06:49,383 --> 00:06:50,348 I know it. 215 00:06:50,384 --> 00:06:52,685 Oh, well, um, maybe he's a nice guy? 216 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,587 Maybe, but he's wearing white pants 217 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,488 that I can see his pockets through 218 00:06:56,523 --> 00:06:58,323 and he just winked at himself in the mirror 219 00:06:58,358 --> 00:06:59,825 so probably not. 220 00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:02,000 Wow. Okay. Well, good luck. 221 00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:04,215 Okay, thanks, oh god. Okay. 222 00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:09,201 Ohh. 223 00:07:10,971 --> 00:07:11,936 - Mmm. - Mmm. 224 00:07:11,972 --> 00:07:13,115 Wow. 225 00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,340 Hey there, I'm uh, 226 00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:16,441 - I'm Keith. - Hi. 227 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:17,675 - And you are... - I'm... 228 00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:20,277 - my future wife. - Oh. 229 00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:22,379 No seriously I was watching you over there 230 00:07:22,415 --> 00:07:24,115 and you are hotter 231 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:25,516 than the bottom of my laptop 232 00:07:25,551 --> 00:07:26,951 after a long day 233 00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:28,920 at my advertising agency. 234 00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:31,355 - Am I? - Oh yeah you would burn my lap. 235 00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:33,757 - Uh oh. - You would be so hot on my lap. 236 00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:34,758 - Oh. - Yeah. 237 00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:35,792 Uh oh. 238 00:07:35,828 --> 00:07:36,827 What do you do by the way? 239 00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:37,894 - I'm a doc... - Besides break hearts? 240 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:39,062 - Ow. - Can I touch your face? 241 00:07:39,098 --> 00:07:40,063 - Maybe no. - Okay. 242 00:07:40,099 --> 00:07:41,064 Okay. 243 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:42,299 - Listen for real. - Yep. 244 00:07:42,335 --> 00:07:43,900 I want you to take my virginity tonight. 245 00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:44,968 - I won't. - Tonight! 246 00:07:45,004 --> 00:07:45,928 I will not. 247 00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:47,605 I do not want to see that. 248 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,772 How 'bout this? 249 00:07:48,807 --> 00:07:50,340 You come on by my place 250 00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,776 and we'll watch Family Guy and Show. 251 00:07:52,811 --> 00:07:54,144 You ever see Family Guy? 252 00:07:54,179 --> 00:07:56,680 Oh my god it's so funny. 253 00:07:56,715 --> 00:07:57,881 Oh is it? 254 00:07:57,916 --> 00:07:59,382 Yeah, there's a dog Brian 255 00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:00,383 oh my he's a, 256 00:08:00,418 --> 00:08:01,451 he reminds me of me, you know. 257 00:08:01,486 --> 00:08:02,552 He's a go-getter, he's a funny guy... 258 00:08:02,587 --> 00:08:04,021 You remind yourself of a dog? 259 00:08:04,056 --> 00:08:05,689 Well the cartoon dog, yes, from Family Guy. 260 00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:06,756 Oh good. 261 00:08:06,791 --> 00:08:08,928 Yeah he's very horny and he's looking for... 262 00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:12,601 - Hi babe. - Hi. 263 00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:13,896 - Hi. - Hi. 264 00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:14,997 Is everything okay over here? 265 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:16,899 Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't know. 266 00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:17,900 Okay. 267 00:08:17,935 --> 00:08:20,770 Bye! Good luck with your horny dog show. 268 00:08:22,563 --> 00:08:23,906 I-I, thank you so much. 269 00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,141 No problem. 270 00:08:25,176 --> 00:08:27,309 No problem at all. I'm-I'm Laura. 271 00:08:27,344 --> 00:08:28,911 - Really nice to meet you. - I work in corporate law. 272 00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:30,646 Oh great. I'm a doctor. 273 00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:31,647 Oh nice. 274 00:08:31,683 --> 00:08:32,748 I thought you were a magician. 275 00:08:32,784 --> 00:08:33,749 No. 276 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:36,152 Oh, 'cause when I came in here and I saw you... 277 00:08:36,187 --> 00:08:38,788 - Yeah? - Everyone else around you disappeared 278 00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:40,021 except for you. 279 00:08:41,358 --> 00:08:42,621 Are those wings? 280 00:08:43,093 --> 00:08:45,194 I'm saying that because I think you're an angel. 281 00:08:45,229 --> 00:08:46,562 - That's why I'm saying that. - Yeah. 282 00:08:46,597 --> 00:08:47,563 I wouldn't say that 283 00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:48,963 if I didn't think you were an angel. 284 00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:50,332 Okay, I don't have wings. 285 00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:51,833 Maybe the little angel wants to 286 00:08:51,868 --> 00:08:53,368 fly on her angel wings over to my house 287 00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:54,503 and watch some Family Guy? 288 00:08:54,538 --> 00:08:55,504 I don't think so. 289 00:08:55,539 --> 00:08:56,805 There's a really funny episode. 290 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,774 Do you know the show with Ryan the dog? 291 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,301 Is this one my water or yours? 292 00:09:12,337 --> 00:09:15,471 Um, I don't know it might be mine. 293 00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:16,772 But you can have a sip. 294 00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,774 Oh, yeah, no thanks. 295 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:21,176 I, uh, I don't want to get sick so. 296 00:09:21,693 --> 00:09:23,211 Well I'm not sick. 297 00:09:23,247 --> 00:09:24,947 Yeah I'm just I'm not going to chance it, 298 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,148 you know, I just... 299 00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,216 I really just can't get sick right now. 300 00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:28,516 I've got like 301 00:09:28,552 --> 00:09:30,219 a ton of work to do! 302 00:09:30,254 --> 00:09:31,453 Well I can't get sick either 303 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,620 I've got to fly to San Francisco 304 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,853 and then New York. 305 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,291 A lot of people get sick on planes. 306 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:36,958 Oh. 307 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,033 Uh oh, what's this? 308 00:09:38,058 --> 00:09:39,461 Oh it's my home-made hummus, there you go. 309 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,462 Oh nice. 310 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,463 I know. 311 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,331 Wow I wouldn't touch that, 312 00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:44,399 - don't want to get sick. - Are you sick? 313 00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,500 Oh my gosh don't touch my carrots, 314 00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:47,001 don't touch my stuff, don't touch my stuff please. 315 00:09:47,036 --> 00:09:49,738 I'm not sick. I-I-I can't get sick. 316 00:09:49,773 --> 00:09:51,606 Well, I can't get sick either 317 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:52,774 Michelle's out of town and 318 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,541 I've got the kids full time for the week so. 319 00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,510 People will kids are sort of gross, they always get sick. 320 00:09:56,545 --> 00:09:57,879 - Always. - I can't get sick. 321 00:09:57,914 --> 00:09:59,747 I'm going to see my sister after I go to San Francisco 322 00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:00,848 and she has a baby. 323 00:10:00,884 --> 00:10:03,217 Um, excuse me, I am getting married on Saturday. 324 00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:04,952 I'm getting married so I definitely can't get sick. 325 00:10:04,988 --> 00:10:06,420 Woo guys, 326 00:10:06,455 --> 00:10:07,922 can we not have communal bowls anymore. 327 00:10:07,957 --> 00:10:09,623 - I'm really bogged down... - Yes. 328 00:10:09,658 --> 00:10:11,057 And I cannot get sick. 329 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:12,125 Well none of us can. 330 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,226 Yeah but, you know, 331 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:15,061 I just signed a book deal for my mommy blog 332 00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:17,063 and I've got to write 25,000 words in two months so. 333 00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:18,599 Um, well, so, 334 00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:20,000 I'm getting married on Saturday 335 00:10:20,035 --> 00:10:21,668 I haven't booked a DJ. 336 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:22,969 I cannot get sick! 337 00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:24,438 I'm reading to the elderly. 338 00:10:24,473 --> 00:10:27,740 I'm hosting an infomercial about how I never get sick. 339 00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:28,741 I 340 00:10:28,777 --> 00:10:29,776 Am getting married 341 00:10:29,811 --> 00:10:31,077 on Saturday people. 342 00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,279 I cannot get sick! 343 00:10:34,649 --> 00:10:35,848 I got sick. 344 00:10:36,184 --> 00:10:37,350 - I got sick. - Oh god. 345 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,319 I got siiiccckkk! 346 00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:44,206 I'm a monster. 347 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,586 I can't get sick. 348 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,898 I'm the president of this company! 349 00:10:51,499 --> 00:10:52,799 Who made me sick?! 350 00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:53,828 Shhhhh! 351 00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:55,301 Who did it? 352 00:10:56,504 --> 00:10:57,804 Hello Janet. 353 00:10:58,027 --> 00:10:59,104 Hi. 354 00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:00,472 Thanks for coming in today. 355 00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:03,142 Yeah well, it's uh 356 00:11:03,177 --> 00:11:04,676 never had a mammogram before. 357 00:11:04,711 --> 00:11:06,611 Never had a-that's fine, if you can just step up and 358 00:11:06,647 --> 00:11:07,846 slide your breast onto the plate. 359 00:11:07,881 --> 00:11:09,114 Oh uh... 360 00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:11,150 You need to open your robe, it's okay. 361 00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:12,151 I'm so sorry. 362 00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:13,752 Can't have a mammogram without your breast out. 363 00:11:13,787 --> 00:11:14,820 I guess not. 364 00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:17,155 First timer, okay honey that's it and slide it in. 365 00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:18,156 Into here? 366 00:11:18,191 --> 00:11:19,424 Yeah can you just twist it to the right? 367 00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:20,692 - Uh huh. - Cork it to the left. 368 00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:21,726 - Cork it? - Is your nipple out? 369 00:11:21,762 --> 00:11:22,727 Sorry, yeah. 370 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,529 Just stick the nipple right to the back. 371 00:11:24,565 --> 00:11:25,997 - Okay. - Right to the crack of it. 372 00:11:26,032 --> 00:11:27,065 Okay, look me in the eye. 373 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,533 This is going to loosen it up and in. 374 00:11:28,569 --> 00:11:29,534 - Ow. - You pushed it in? 375 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:30,535 - Yeah. - You got that? 376 00:11:30,571 --> 00:11:31,536 - Yeah. - That feels okay? 377 00:11:31,572 --> 00:11:33,504 Okay, can you lift your right arm up for me? 378 00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:34,705 - This one? - Keep it at a right angle. 379 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:35,739 - Slide it in. - Okay. 380 00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:36,874 - Slide it in. - In. 381 00:11:36,909 --> 00:11:38,409 Slide it in. Just hold on - You know what? 382 00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:39,543 I need you to hold onto the bar. 383 00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:40,544 - Okay. - That bar, that bar. 384 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,146 - That one? - Put this hand on that bar. 385 00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:43,547 - Okay. - Hold on tight like this. 386 00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:44,682 Do you feel that nice and tight? 387 00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:46,250 Now take it and just put... 388 00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:48,353 put your tit in. Like this, just slide it in. 389 00:11:48,388 --> 00:11:49,353 I just might need to... 390 00:11:49,388 --> 00:11:50,354 You know how to slip it in? 391 00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:51,321 - Hold onto that bar. - Okay. 392 00:11:51,357 --> 00:11:52,322 - And that bar. - This bar? 393 00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:53,691 - This bar. - I can't hold both. 394 00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:54,692 You can't hold both bars? 395 00:11:54,727 --> 00:11:55,793 You can't, you have two hands. 396 00:11:55,828 --> 00:11:56,861 - You've got two bars. - I've got this bar... 397 00:11:56,896 --> 00:11:57,862 Look at me. 398 00:11:57,897 --> 00:11:58,863 That's it, that's it. 399 00:11:58,898 --> 00:12:00,063 - You're gonna hold on both bars? - Okay. 400 00:12:00,099 --> 00:12:01,064 Okay, guess what's happened? 401 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,065 Where's your breast? 402 00:12:02,101 --> 00:12:03,066 - Off the plate. - Oh shit. 403 00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:04,969 Slide it in. I know. Look at me. 404 00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,470 Don't swear this is a hospital. 405 00:12:06,505 --> 00:12:07,471 - Is your nipple still out? - Yeah. 406 00:12:07,506 --> 00:12:08,472 Can you twist it? 407 00:12:08,507 --> 00:12:09,572 Can you twist your breast like that? 408 00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:11,908 - Ah, ah, ah ah. - I might have to... 409 00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:14,027 - Twist it, you're not looking at me. - Okay. 410 00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:17,547 Ah. Twist, twist, on it, twist, on it, nice. 411 00:12:17,582 --> 00:12:18,548 And you're looking at me. 412 00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:19,716 I'm going to ask you to 413 00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:21,485 - lift your right leg for me. - Lift my right leg? 414 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,919 - Left leg. I said left. - Okay. 415 00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:23,987 - Lift it up. - Okay. 416 00:12:24,022 --> 00:12:25,421 Kick it straight. Kick it straight. 417 00:12:25,456 --> 00:12:26,689 It's like you're in jazz class, 418 00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:28,925 babababababap 419 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,361 and your breast still has to be on the plate. 420 00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:33,563 - Don't mess around. - Oh I see. 421 00:12:33,598 --> 00:12:34,564 I gotta get closer now. 422 00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:36,132 - Get closer now. Slide it in. - Okay. 423 00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:38,600 Okay wait, and we're going to hold for five seconds. 424 00:12:38,636 --> 00:12:39,601 We're not going to breathe Janet. 425 00:12:39,637 --> 00:12:40,602 How long do I... 426 00:12:40,638 --> 00:12:42,405 Don't breathe, shh, that's what's happening, 427 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,705 - you're breathing. - Can I take a deep breath... 428 00:12:43,741 --> 00:12:45,041 - Bap, don't breathe. - Okay. 429 00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:46,042 Smell my hand. 430 00:12:46,077 --> 00:12:47,209 That was a trick, don't smell my hand 431 00:12:47,245 --> 00:12:48,210 'cause that means you're breathing. 432 00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:49,211 Okay, ready? 433 00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:50,546 Here we go. 434 00:12:51,135 --> 00:12:52,267 Hold on and... 435 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,550 Ohhhh. 436 00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:55,551 Oh that pinches a little. 437 00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:56,872 - Yeah. - Try this. 438 00:12:58,789 --> 00:13:00,022 Ahhh. 439 00:13:01,358 --> 00:13:02,424 There we go. 440 00:13:02,459 --> 00:13:03,702 That's great. 441 00:13:04,061 --> 00:13:05,027 We all done? 442 00:13:05,062 --> 00:13:06,028 You're all done. 443 00:13:06,063 --> 00:13:07,195 Oh great. 444 00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:08,617 Thank you. 445 00:13:08,642 --> 00:13:10,265 No problem. 446 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,266 Good job Janet. 447 00:13:11,301 --> 00:13:13,401 Now if you could just wait here 448 00:13:13,437 --> 00:13:14,536 and then someone will be in 449 00:13:14,571 --> 00:13:15,970 to give you your mammogram. 450 00:13:17,956 --> 00:13:19,074 You-you're not the? 451 00:13:19,109 --> 00:13:20,075 No. 452 00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:21,076 This wasn't a? 453 00:13:21,111 --> 00:13:22,610 This-this isn't a mammogram machine is it? 454 00:13:22,645 --> 00:13:24,212 No no no no no no no no no no. 455 00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:25,280 That's for my grill cheeses. 456 00:13:25,315 --> 00:13:26,960 This is a staff lounge. 457 00:13:27,317 --> 00:13:28,716 - Hey Charlene, hey Jeanine. - Hey. 458 00:13:28,751 --> 00:13:30,084 I'm going to go clean level three. 459 00:13:30,118 --> 00:13:31,551 - Okay. - 'Kay. 460 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,229 - Hey. - Hi. 461 00:13:33,858 --> 00:13:34,743 Hi. 462 00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:36,813 What are you guys doing? 463 00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:38,758 - Uh, just chilling out. - Lunch break. 464 00:13:38,794 --> 00:13:40,794 You can make yourself a panini if you want. 465 00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,429 Oh the scallops have a lemon butter reduction 466 00:13:43,465 --> 00:13:44,630 that sounds so good. 467 00:13:44,665 --> 00:13:46,099 That sounds really good. 468 00:13:46,134 --> 00:13:47,666 Oh my god look at these steak frite options. 469 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,835 I can have aioli and goat cheese together. 470 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,880 Oh my god! 471 00:13:51,606 --> 00:13:53,906 Oh duck liver pate wrapped in prosciutto 472 00:13:53,941 --> 00:13:55,040 oooh I'm in heaven. 473 00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,542 That sounds good. 474 00:13:56,578 --> 00:13:57,910 Oh I might go with the... 475 00:13:57,945 --> 00:14:01,480 with the fettuccine Alfredo with in-house aged Parmesan. 476 00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:02,581 That sounds good. 477 00:14:02,617 --> 00:14:04,216 I'm just going to have this whole side of the menu. 478 00:14:04,251 --> 00:14:06,218 I'm going to have this and just dip everything in duck fat. 479 00:14:06,253 --> 00:14:07,319 What can I get you ladies? 480 00:14:07,354 --> 00:14:08,687 Yeah, I'm going to have 481 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:09,855 the house salad, 482 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:10,856 grilled chicken, 483 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,124 dressing on the side. 484 00:14:12,159 --> 00:14:13,125 - The same - Same for me. 485 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,359 Yeah same for me. Thanks so much. 486 00:14:15,295 --> 00:14:16,528 Okay McDougall 487 00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:18,363 we're going to need a date and time of recovery 488 00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:20,765 - on the Buskawitz file. - Excuse me. 489 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,534 And I'm also going to need your 459, okay. 490 00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:24,291 Yeah hold on. 450. 491 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,105 Hi. 492 00:14:27,141 --> 00:14:28,340 Hi, um... 493 00:14:28,575 --> 00:14:30,808 I've been experiencing some ongoing harassment 494 00:14:30,844 --> 00:14:32,210 that I would like to report. 495 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,878 Okay I'm glad you came in to see us. 496 00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,146 Okay, um, 497 00:14:36,094 --> 00:14:37,281 it's my ex-boyfriend Travis. 498 00:14:37,316 --> 00:14:38,315 Travis. 499 00:14:38,351 --> 00:14:40,118 Yeah, so I broke up with him 500 00:14:40,153 --> 00:14:42,386 because he was becoming increasingly volatile. 501 00:14:42,421 --> 00:14:44,639 Ooh relationships are hard aren't they? 502 00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:46,507 Sure. 503 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,727 Um, so he started showing up at places where I am 504 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,329 and shouting at me and smashing stuff. 505 00:14:52,365 --> 00:14:54,517 Hmmm so he still cares? 506 00:14:56,844 --> 00:14:57,701 Huh. 507 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,472 He's been tweeting at me a lot in the last week 508 00:15:01,745 --> 00:15:04,637 and I'm really concerned for my safety. 509 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:07,144 Okay, look at these tweets. 510 00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:08,311 - Oh is this on the Internet? - Yeah. 511 00:15:08,346 --> 00:15:10,480 Ah, yeah no I think that's more of a question for I.T. 512 00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:11,555 No, no it's not 513 00:15:11,817 --> 00:15:13,150 a computer question, 514 00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:14,885 these are tangible messages 515 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,219 left in a public forum 516 00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:17,554 by a violent individual. 517 00:15:17,589 --> 00:15:18,555 Ma'am, 518 00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:20,952 I can't help you if you keep shouting at me. 519 00:15:22,627 --> 00:15:24,260 I-I didn't shout at you. 520 00:15:27,632 --> 00:15:29,566 Okay, just-just read these tweets. 521 00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:31,668 Okay here he says, um, 522 00:15:31,703 --> 00:15:33,869 - that I'm a waste of life. - Uh huh. 523 00:15:33,905 --> 00:15:35,838 Here he says that 524 00:15:35,873 --> 00:15:37,507 the world would be better off without me 525 00:15:37,542 --> 00:15:39,942 and he's thinking of ways to get rid of me. 526 00:15:39,977 --> 00:15:41,410 Sounds kind of vague. 527 00:15:41,913 --> 00:15:43,946 Um, here he says 528 00:15:43,981 --> 00:15:45,881 he's going to cut down the tree in my front yard 529 00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:47,216 and burn me with it. 530 00:15:47,251 --> 00:15:48,250 Wait... 531 00:15:48,853 --> 00:15:49,819 What? 532 00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:51,087 - What? - I know. 533 00:15:51,622 --> 00:15:52,722 Alright saddle up boys 534 00:15:52,757 --> 00:15:54,323 we gotta tree being cut down without a permit. 535 00:15:54,358 --> 00:15:55,324 What? 536 00:15:55,359 --> 00:15:56,325 Alright ma'am, 537 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,693 thank you for coming to me with this, 538 00:15:57,728 --> 00:15:58,694 you mark my words 539 00:15:58,729 --> 00:16:00,596 nothing will happen to that tree on my watch. 540 00:16:00,631 --> 00:16:01,597 You have my word. 541 00:16:01,632 --> 00:16:02,598 Alright. 542 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:03,898 Come on boys let's roll out. 543 00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:04,899 What? 544 00:16:04,935 --> 00:16:05,934 Travis? 545 00:16:06,407 --> 00:16:07,890 Oh, hey, Laura. 546 00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:09,913 You look great. 547 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,700 I'm a cop now. So... 548 00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:14,175 gotta go. 549 00:16:16,213 --> 00:16:17,411 Okay. 550 00:16:33,134 --> 00:16:35,632 Honey, you're snoring. 551 00:16:37,305 --> 00:16:38,270 Honey. 552 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,738 I can still hear it. 553 00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:42,808 Ah, okay. 554 00:16:48,849 --> 00:16:49,878 One, 555 00:16:50,779 --> 00:16:51,744 two, 556 00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:55,147 Okay. 557 00:16:57,319 --> 00:16:58,383 I can still hear it. 558 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,878 Okay, that's good. 559 00:17:12,266 --> 00:17:13,498 Yeah, this is working. 560 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:14,766 Ah. 561 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,670 I can't hear it. 562 00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:31,883 I can still hear it! 563 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,991 I love you. 564 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,826 I love you. 565 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,995 I love you so much. 566 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,997 I love you. 567 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,065 I love you. 568 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,302 Ah. 569 00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:58,776 I can still hear it. 570 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:03,981 I can still hear it. 571 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,319 I-I can still hear it. 572 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:12,489 It's the problem so we're just going to shhh... 573 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,124 We're just gonna, shhhh shhhhhh... 574 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:19,965 Oh, was I snoring? 575 00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:21,920 Yeah, a little bit. 576 00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,865 That's a really good question Kaitlyn, 577 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,066 it's nothing to be embarrassed about. 578 00:18:30,298 --> 00:18:31,364 You see, 579 00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:34,272 every woman's body is part of a cycle. 580 00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:36,048 Once a month 581 00:18:36,084 --> 00:18:37,382 you're going to feel 582 00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,891 a warm glowing light around you. 583 00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:42,832 And all you have to do, 584 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,267 it's so easy, 585 00:18:44,303 --> 00:18:45,335 is just 586 00:18:45,371 --> 00:18:46,936 take a pad in your hand 587 00:18:47,437 --> 00:18:51,380 and pour a thin strip of liquid down the middle. 588 00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:54,086 It'll take a few tries 589 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,775 but eventually you'll find a way of doing it 590 00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,282 that's comfortable for you. 591 00:18:57,509 --> 00:19:00,644 But won't I look weird doing that at school? 592 00:19:00,679 --> 00:19:01,912 Oh no. 593 00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:04,180 At this time of the month you don't go to school, 594 00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:07,050 you'll spend most of your time horseback riding 595 00:19:07,086 --> 00:19:09,086 or swimming in a white bathing suit. 596 00:19:13,265 --> 00:19:16,207 I was going to wait until you were older to give you this but 597 00:19:16,761 --> 00:19:17,873 here. 598 00:19:18,028 --> 00:19:19,060 Wow. 599 00:19:20,499 --> 00:19:21,731 It's a white sundress 600 00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:23,032 for running in open fields 601 00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:24,667 with your arms in the air. 602 00:19:26,138 --> 00:19:27,536 That's not so scary. 603 00:19:27,571 --> 00:19:28,771 Thanks Mom. 604 00:19:31,743 --> 00:19:32,742 Oh my God! 605 00:19:32,777 --> 00:19:33,743 Why are you bleeding? 606 00:19:33,778 --> 00:19:35,011 Are you dying? 607 00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:36,045 Oh my God! 608 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,813 My baby is dying! 609 00:19:37,849 --> 00:19:39,281 What's happening to you?! 610 00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:41,316 - What is happening?! - Help me! 611 00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:43,519 - What is happening?! - Help me! 612 00:19:43,554 --> 00:19:44,886 Ahhh! 613 00:19:44,921 --> 00:19:46,355 My baby! 614 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:48,223 My baabyy! 615 00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:56,798 It's time for Kiss Cam! 616 00:19:56,848 --> 00:20:01,398 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0